Don't Want To Make Love, I Want To Make Love Last!

I know i still have to write about my spring break '011 which was insanely fun but that's another story for another time.

So! today should be a sad day...but it's not. Why? Because i'm friggin proud of myself that's friggin why!

So i've been "dating" ok I went on one date with this guy, his name is....gotcha! we all know what naming names does! So we'll name him DB.

Went on a date. Like him alot. Partied it up at the mustache party next weekend. Kissed me that night.

Went to dinner with my friends.

He sang to me.

Came over couple nights later... Talked about lots of stuff. Stayed until 5 am.

decided i didn't like him anymore that night. but kept talking to him..started liking him again.

Blah Blah frickedy blah!

Same story as all of them. Different Ending!

Long story short. He didn't want a serious relationship, lied about me being the only girl he was dating/kissing and is a friggin HUGE FLIRT!

It made me so sad! i was always sad about him.

So today i confronted him about it and then after a long conversation/argument/him being a fricken pansy, i just told him things weren't working out.

That's it!

I broke it off with someone that i liked! normally this isn't a huge accomplishment to people but I have NEVER, in my life, done that. I've always accepted being treated bad as part of the relationship. uh nope!

I was strong enough to stand up for myself and just let him be his own flirty little self...without me.

I deserve so much better than him...like seriously.

In the words of Bon Qui Qui "Dis dude need ta go! He need ta go!"

I think the reason why it was so hard for me to break it off with him is because i just can't get fricken Curly out of my head!

i can't stand how much i like(d) him.

I hate that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

and quite frankly i'm a little heartbroken over him!

I just miss how happy i was with him when i wasn't sad about not hearing from him.

i loved his kisses and how he could make me snap out of a bad mood so quickly.

i loved that he was so sweet to everyone all the time.

i love that his friends came to him for blessings.

i loved when he would sing in front of me.

i loved being with him.

i miss it.

But honestly, it just makes me excited for the future. because the man that i marry and fall in love with will be a Curly X a billion! and that is so comforting! but i kind of just want it now! i miss being in love! i miss being taken care of when i'm sick! i miss caring about someone more than i care about myself. i want to be in love again!

Just want to add a quote i found today in my roommates church journal. "A womans heart should be so hiden in christ that a man should have to seek him first to find her" i want that! i want to be that woman! i love it when relationships are centered around the lord. That's why me and Elder A were so freakin and madly in love the last couple weeks. more to come on st. g.

Love,

Ches